he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
