It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Everything about him screamed your future.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
