just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
