I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Randomize
