If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
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