Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
