it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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