I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
