Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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