i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
