Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
