there was a trapeze. enough said
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Randomize
