Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Randomize
