Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
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