Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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