so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
