Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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