Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
