i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
