You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
