So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
