I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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