Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
