he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
My vagina just recognized that song.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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