I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
