Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
