Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
