I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I'm jealous of your bromance
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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