The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
If I die, sorry about rent.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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