Old men and throwing up are my life now.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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