New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize