Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
so that wasnt chicken after all
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
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