what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
there is glitter all over my balls
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