but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
