If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
