so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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