Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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