You're completely useless in the revolution.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
