So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
