Capitaan dildo arrescate!
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
