yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
