There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
