Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
