Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
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