Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Randomize
