It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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