OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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