who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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