fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
