remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
COCAINE IS GR8
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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