the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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