I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
